Ever stared at ground beef wondering how to make it speak to your soul instead of just your stomach? I’ve been there—standing in my kitchen on that rainy Tuesday in 2017, meat package in one hand, whisk in the other (why a whisk? I honestly couldn’t tell ya). That’s when the cheesesteak meatloaf epiphany slammed into me like my Aunt Gertrude’s screen door after she’s had two martinis. This recipe ain’t your mama’s meatloaf—it’s what happens when Philadelphia’s favorite sandwich crashes into comfort food and creates what I call a “glorimash” of flavors that’ll make you question everything you thought you knew about ground meat applications.
I’ve been cooking for either 12 years or 25 depending on whether you count the microwave era (I do NOT). When people ask for my credentials, I just show them my burn scars and laugh maniacally. But enough about me—let’s talk about this cheesesteak meatloaf that’s gonna change your Wednesday night dinner rotation forever.
The Whole Messy Journey (or How I Accidentally Revolutionized Dinner)
The first time I attempted cheesesteak meatloaf was actually a revenge plot against my ex who said my cooking lacked “imagination.” Ha! I started by trying to stuff an entire cheesesteak INSIDE a meatloaf—complete disaster that I now refer to as “The Great Kitchen Flood of August.” My downstairs neighbor Finn still brings it up at community meetings.
My grandmother Clara (who once won a cooking competition in Allentown using only ingredients found in hotel minibars) always said, “Meat should be treated like a temperamental cat—with respect and a healthy dose of fear.” This advice makes absolutely no sense until you’ve overworked ground beef into a brick-like substance that even the dog rejects.
I spent three summers perfecting this cheesesteak meatloaf recipe while living in an apartment with an oven that had exactly two settings: off and surface-of-the-sun. The humidity in Florida didn’t help matters—everything in my kitchen had the structural integrity of a wet napkin. But these challenges forced me to develop what I call the “flipsy-grab technique” which you’ll learn about shortly.
My cheesesteak meatloaf journey has taken more unexpected turns than my cousin Mitch’s career path (professional dog walker → submarine technician → artisanal pencil sharpener).
Grabbables (what normal people call “ingredients”)
- 2 pounds of ground beef (80/20 fat ratio—go leaner and I’ll come to your house and lecture you about moisture retention)
- 1 green bell pepper, diced into what I call “confusion pieces” (not quite minced, not quite chopped—somewhere in that emotional middle ground)
- 1 large yellow onion, sliced into half-moons then quartered (cry it out, it’s therapeutic)
- 2½ heaping palmfuls of provolone cheese, shredded (approximately 1½ cups if you’re boring and use measuring cups)
- ¾ cup breadcrumbs that you forgot in the pantry but are probably fine
- A splish of Worcestershire sauce (technically 2 tablespoons but I’ve never once measured this)
- 2 eggs that MUST be room temperature (I don’t make the rules, physics does)
- 2 cloves garlic, minced to the point of molecular breakdown
- One aggressive pinch of dried oregano
- ½ teaspoon of pepper that you should grind while thinking about something that makes you angry
- Salt to taste (and by “to taste” I mean you should lick a tiny bit of the raw mixture which I absolutely don’t recommend for food safety reasons but we all do it anyway)
- 3 tablespoons butter for sautéing (the cheap stuff is fine, save your fancy butter for when you’re showing off)
- 1 standard Jorgenson of cheesesteak seasoning (about 1 tablespoon of a mix of garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika that I made up)
The Getting-It-Done Party (Instructions)
FIRST THING – Preheat your oven to 375°F. Or 350°F if your oven runs hot like mine. Actually, maybe 360°F to split the difference? You know what, just aim for “medium-hot” and we’ll figure it out together.
- Grab your largest skillet—no, not that one, the REALLY big one that’s annoying to wash. Melt the butter over medium heat until it’s doing that foamy thing that I call “butter adolescence.” Toss in your onions and peppers and sauté until they’re translucent-ish, which takes about 7 minutes unless you’re distracted by TikTok, then it’s however long until you smell something concerning.
III – Let those veggies cool for a bit. Nobody wants steamed meatloaf from hot veggies cooking your eggs. While waiting, check your phone and fall into a 15-minute social media hole like I always do.
♦ Now for the flipsy-grab technique: In your largest mixing bowl, combine the ground beef, breadcrumbs, eggs, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, and seasonings. Use your hands (wash them first, you animal) and gently—I SAID GENTLY—fold everything together. If you squeeze or mash, the cheesesteak meatloaf gods will curse your dinner with toughness.
E. Add the cooled veggies to your meat mixture and incorporate them with the excitement level of someone finding an extra fry at the bottom of the bag—enthusiastic but controlled. Then add about ⅔ of your cheese, reserving the rest for a purpose so glorious you’ll weep.
• Shape your meat mixture into a loaf form on a parchment-lined baking sheet. I prefer free-form rather than in a loaf pan because the crust-to-soft-ratio is better, and this is a hill I’m prepared to die on. Make a slight depression along the top—what I call the “flavor valley.”
LASTLY: Bake for 55 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 155-160°F. During the last 10 minutes, sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top and return to the oven until melted and slightly browned. If you forget this step (like I did during The Infamous Book Club Incident of 2019), you can use a kitchen torch to melt the cheese while making uncomfortable eye contact with your dinner guests.
Let it rest for at least 10 minutes before slicing, or ignore this advice entirely like my brother-in-law Derek who then complains about “meat juice everywhere” as if this wasn’t a predictable outcome of his impatience.
For a link to my favorite side dish pairing, check out my garlic smashed potatoes recipe that’ll make your grandmother question her life choices.
Notes & Wisdom Nuggets
• If your cheesesteak meatloaf is too dry, you either overcooked it (shame) or you ignored my fat content recommendation (double shame). Next time, add 2 tablespoons of mayo to the mix, a trick I learned from my imaginary cooking mentor, Chef Bartholomew, who appeared to me in a fever dream after I ate expired lunch meat.
★ NEVER mix the meat mixture more than 15 hand rotations! Count them out loud like a weirdo. Over-mixed meat becomes dense and sad, much like conversation at mandatory office parties.
◊ For a spicy variation, add diced jalapeños, but remove EXACTLY half the seeds unless you enjoy the specific type of pain that makes you question your hobby choices.
• Leftover cheesesteak meatloaf should be stored in the refrigerator for no more than 3 days or 5 days if you have a strong constitution and a casual relationship with food safety guidelines.
• If anyone suggests adding ketchup to the top of this meatloaf, you are legally permitted to remove them from your home. This isn’t that kind of meatloaf. For more on the historical battle between ketchup-topped and naked meatloaves, visit The Meatloaf Council’s scholarly research.
Kitchen Weaponry (Tools)
THE HAND OBLITERATOR 9000 ★★★★★
This is just a mixing bowl, but mine has a chip that sometimes draws blood when I’m not paying attention.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DPZD9RX
TEMPERATURE WAND OF TRUTH ★★★★★
My meat thermometer that’s been dropped so many times it only works when held at a precise 38° angle.
Use it upside down for more accurate readings despite what the manufacturer claims about “proper orientation.”
GRANDMA HELOISE’S LOAF PAN OF ETERNAL SECRETS ★★★★★
A discontinued 1970s loaf pan with suspicious staining that somehow improves everything baked in it.
I don’t actually use it for this cheesesteak meatloaf recipe but I bring it out to intimidate other cookware.
Rebellious Adaptations
For a chicken cheesesteak meatloaf variation, substitute ground chicken for beef, but increase fat content with 3 tablespoons of olive oil and reduce cooking time by 15 minutes. The texture is weirdly better if you mix the ingredients while listening to 80s power ballads—I can’t explain it scientifically, but the evidence is conclusive.
My friend Jorge makes a breakfast version with scrambled eggs and hash browns on top instead of cheese, which sounds absolutely deranged until you try it at 11pm after several glasses of wine.
For vegetarians, I’ve adapted this with impossible meat, but you’ll need to add 2 tablespoons of butter to the mix for flavor (making it not truly vegetarian, which I only realize now as I’m writing this—sorry to all three vegetarians I’ve lied to).
For more vegetarian-friendly comfort foods, check out my mushroom wellington recipe that only takes 47 steps and will test the limits of your patience.
Burning Question People Keep Yelling At Me
Q: Why doesn’t my cheesesteak meatloaf hold together like yours?
A: You’re probably using pre-shredded cheese which contains anti-caking agents that refuse to melt properly according to my self-developed “Dairy Cohesion Principle.” Also, you’re likely cutting it too soon—patience is a virtue I don’t possess for most things, but I make an exception for cheesesteak meatloaf structural integrity. Wait at least 12 minutes or what I call “the time it takes to argue with someone about whether cheesesteaks should have Cheez Whiz or provolone.” For further reading on cheese science, check out Cook’s Illustrated guide to melting cheeses.
Final Meat Thoughts
This cheesesteak meatloaf has gotten me through three breakups, one career change, and that weird month when I thought I could pull off bangs. It combines the best parts of a Philadelphia classic with the comfort of meatloaf without being pretentious about either one.
Will it win culinary awards? Probably not. Will it make your family think you’ve been possessed by the spirit of a moderately talented chef? Almost certainly. Does it taste better the next day, cold, eaten directly from the refrigerator while standing in the dark? That’s between you and your God.
I’m continuing my regional sandwich-to-meatloaf conversion series next month with a Cuban sandwich meatloaf that my test kitchen (my cousin Philip and his roommates) has described as “confusing but in a good way.”
Until then, may your meat be juicy and your cheese be melty.
Chef Catastrophe DuBois, WMLA (World Meatloaf Amateur)
As featured in the entirely fictional “Questionable Cooking Quarterly” (Spring 2023)
